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That's the way to do it!

by Dave Riley

In attempting to proceed into 2008 the quickening is beginning to kick in.

What with all the new year resolutions you can choose from, ours here at LeftClick comprise a short list of what- is to- be dones?

We have engineered a niche here in blogsville and that will suffice.

Come and go as you please.

However, inasmuch as LeftClick functions as your online radio station this year there will be more audio being generated by our own bare hands -- distributed & labeled LeftCast, LatinRadical or The Blather .

I think we've simplified the process and hopefully -- touch microphone (is it on?)-- we've overcome some of the ill health that has crippled us over the past period.

As an addendum to this creative media impulse we will be introducing into the 21st Century an contemporary version of that naughty rascal Mr Punch -- pitched at modern day audiences in the form of a Hugo Chavez puppet.

I'm serious: a hand puppet that talks, beats up crocodiles and policemen and gets up to other mischief -- just like the Venezuelan president.

How quaint. How very ratbagish.

So thats' our proposed modus operandi -- more of the talk audio with interviews being garnered from within our network of activist notables. But with a touch here and there of a bit more political satire.

This exercise has its precursors in the from of Winston (see below)the estwhile creature of the John Howard regime.

As Mr Punch would say, "That's the way to do it!"

Winston and Kimbo: just for you!

Such has been the massive public response to the announcement of the political aspirations of P.M. Winston -- ventriloquist's dummy and the future DIY prime minister of Australia -- that we at campaign headquarters have been inundated with requests from ordinary Australians seeking details of his schedule of personal appearances.

Some of you may have been fortunate enough to catch Winston during the recent May Day activities around the country. As long-time friend of the working man (and working woman too, of course, as the girls are as often as not in overalls nowadays, aren't they?), Winston managed to get around to some of the major gatherings of proletarian-type people.

Where he wasn't able to attend, we forwarded a replica of P.M. Winston in the form of a delightful hand puppet. We thought festival organising committees could put these figures to good use -- as a community service, as it were.

At a convenient height of 30 centimetres, the P.M. Winston hand puppet (soon to be distributed as Winston Junior) is ideal for all those public events where “input” from such a significant political figure is desired. Winston Junior comes complete with change of clothes, choice of spectacle frames and easy to follow instructions on how to mount your own parliamentary show.

The prototype has proven very popular and we start full production later this month. So if you seek to possess your very own PM, be sure to contact us for ordering details.

We did find, however, that there was some reticence on the part of many gathered at these May Day activities to warm unconditionally to Winston. Perhaps we should have foreseen this, as Winston does look very much like the current Tory prime minister of Australia, John Howard.

Technicians and strategists reviewed this situation, and during a hastily convened conference, the P.M. Winston Parliamentary Party of Moderate and Peaceful Progress Within the Limits of the Law (working title) decided to recruit to the campaign for public office a running mate -- a figure who would have a greater credibility among the labouring masses (at least that's the theory.)

This, comrades and friends, has been the genesis of Kimbo. Running (and very much a soul) mate to P.M. Winston, Kimbo at 29 centimetres in height with a generous supply of flesh and bluster, is the ideal foil to P.M. Winston.

Just the thing to take down the pub for a few beers, a hit and a giggle, this jolly hand puppet (a dummy is in the pipeline) is sure to impress your friends with his ready combination of political savvy and good humour.

Kimbo, unlike Winston, is being marketed nationally with special customised options geared to the ordinary preferences of your everyday Aussie mum and dad. So if you were hoping on getting the politician you think you deserve, then check out what Kimbo has to offer.

Winston Junior and Kimbo are both covered by our special exchange-but-no-refund policy. If you don't like the one you ordered, we'll send you the other. Three years. No questions asked.

More Winston:

Regular readers of this column may recall Winston -- the John Howard look-alike figure we introduced you in Green Left Weekly #371 in a fit of hopeful

I would like to thank everyone who sent get well greetings to Winston... -- the vent figure who will one day be our own DIY prime minister.

I'm afraid Winston is in the bad books. Everyone's favourite dummy has ... Winston has been so naughty that I've locked him in his case until he apologises. ...

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