Real men need real adds and this one is very real...(in a jocular, parody-ish, sort of way)
Image:Via Carectomy
Hummer H8 The Earth Fucker
Take a look at the all new, all powerful, gas guzzling, Earth fucking, Hummer H8! You can be the envy of the mall parking lot and help take over the world, two parking spots at a time. Now, real men will show the puny hybrid owners that they're a full three inches when they're behind the wheel of their shiny, Hummer H8. And Women, can transport an entire soccer team, while simultaneously drinking their mocha, applying eye liner, and chatting on their cell phones. That's right, when you're driving The Earth Fucker, you can do whatever you want! Who can stop you anyway?
As a Hummer H8 owner, you scoff at weight limit laws, you dare hybrids to use the car pool lane, you're not afraid to ignore your blind spots, and you do your best to eliminate that pesky Ozone layer! More than anything else, you know you're better than a Hummer H2 or Hummer H3 owner because H2 + H3 only equals H5! Once you get your 5.9 mpg Hummer H8, slap your "No Fear" sticker on the back, install your 30" bling bling wheels, you're ready to avoid puddles and mud like nobody's business. Fuck Mother Earth, she likes it!
Hummer owners unite in our yearly celebration and rejoice in our gallant efforts to contribute to the Greenhouse Effect and Global Warming. Hummer H2, Hummer H3, Hummer H8 and Hum Vee enthusiasts from around the world are working hard to fuck the universe, one planet at a time!
