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SATIRE: The Queensland Floods -- Drowning in asylum seekers

I was thinking that  inasmuch as  tolerant creatures on this planet go I can be a patient soul.

I'm not into martyrdom  but up to a point I will grin and bear it.

So here: watch this, I'm grinning. And again, here's another mental image of me bearing it...

But those mental shots  are yesterday's me. Today I'm  more of  a gritted teeth sort of guy.

Why? I've had it up to here with immigrants!

Perhaps you have assumed that recently Queensland, the state in which I dwell,  was drowning in a massive flood tide. Water everywhere. One big inland sea from our sandy  beaches to Woop Woop.

But this massive volume of fluid only has the appearance of water. If  you interview each droplet of H20  that fell upon this dry brown land north of the Tweed you'll get a very different story.

They're "asylum seekers" -- a bunch of so and soes whose only interest they will own up to is  to sneak past our girt-by-seaness and precipitate en masse. Up north they may have been happy enough floating around on the surface of a warm tropical sea somewhere but  they would  tell you (if they could speak)  that it got too hot for them to stay put.

So they  smuggled themselves  on the first cloud out of there.

All that fear of the  Yellow Peril or the Red Menace is just silly paranoia -- 20th century thinking. Bigotry. Racism.

This invasion  is colourless.

It's water.  

Buckets of the bootlegged  stuff. A vicious, unrelenting floodtide that no amount of processing on Christmas Island can protect us from.

(Give a me a drought any day.  I much prefer human flotsam or any neighborhood immigrant to this! )

But here's the rub, the big joke about Queensland:
A main aim of the state's recovery from the floods is to reopen the coal mines...
  • so that Queensland can supply more fossil fuels to emit more carbon into the atmosphere 
  • so that the oceans around us can be  made even warmer 
  • so that even more water can be evaporated to be dumped on  Queensland to swamp the coal mines...
So with these asylum seekers, no matter what  form of mandatory detention we use  -- dams, flood walls, levee banks, umbrellas -- they are just gonna keep on coming in bigger and bigger waves -- aboard storm front or cell...

...until the coal mines drown (along with  the rest of us).

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