Unbeknown to most of those who inhabit my circle, I often suffer from feelings of inadequacy. These fleeting moments bear down upon me like a heavy rock as I grope for a footing on the precipice of life. You will know my meaning when I say that what I so often fear is that I lack monetary value.
How much am I worth? This is a market conundrum. When I watch the Antiques Roadshow I marvel at the face value placed upon the most diverse of objects. Here a few hundred and there many thousands of dollars attesting to the fact that to some, at least, the demand for the rare objet d'art or a hand-me-down tea cup with a chip in it is unrequited.
Unfortunately I cannot so easily treasure myself up by hanging on a lounge room wall or in the grandparent's attic for one or two hundred years before being featured on the BBC. The patina of such aging doesn't come easily to my CV.
I may be truly drop dead gorgeous or sublimely handsome -- and I am, all of those things* -- but unless I can drape myself over the cover of some mag or reward the Australian populace with a feature or op ed concerned solely with my thoughts and raison d'etre, then as the ever observant St Paul reminded us in one of his infotorials, while you may have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, without the folding stuff you are nothing.
'Tis a dispiriting thought that nothing.
Since I'm not one to let the indifference of the world get me down I thought I'd consciously establish a viable measure of my being by taking out a life insurance policy.
It was a simple self evident act that is offered to me every night on the teley by such philosophers of the law of value and price as the ever canny Billy Connelly.
If indeed I take pride in what I am, or so I reasoned, what better way to prove that quantitatively than by attaching upon my person a monetary value if I was , for some unholy reason, no longer available:missing from my social post, as it were. You know,physiologically stagnant.
I soon learned that the great thing about life insurance is that I can select my own worth.I don't have to worry about the fickleness of the market. I can value myself as much as I value myself! All I had to do was to pick a policy and sign on the dotted line.
I would no longer suffer from feelings of inadequacy because I would know my true value. And let me tell you, I put a hefty price on my head.
You cannot imagine how confident that makes me feel. With life insurance you really can walk around with tabs on yourself.
No matter what the world may throw at me to suppress my ego and make me feel worthless, I know that when I go, I am going to have the last laugh.
*See accompanying profile image.